what if?

what if it feels like your whole world is falling apart.
but you're supposed to be strong.
and keep a smile on your face.

because they expect so high of you.
but you already know you've let them down.

and you just want to be home.
so that you can cry in your own bed.
because this one still doesn't feel like your own.
and you don't have the room to yourself anymore.

what if the tears come too easily.
and you just can't hold them in anymore.

and you've never been so scared in your life.
but you've also never had such a strong testimony.

what if you started fighting again.
and now you just don't know anymore.
when before you were so sure.

and you know that right now you just need to focus on you.
and that means not worrying about three years from now.
or even about what he's doing with his life.

what if that's one of the hardest things you've ever had to do.

and
what if this is your life?

what do you do?


love, j.