the library.

the library became this place of refuge for me today.
it meant that people saw me cry.
and saw those red blotchy cheeks afterwards too.

it's where my roommates stayed with me.
and kept a smile on my face.
it's where they gave me the much needed hugs.
and gave me some of the best advice.

it was in that glass room that i cried harder than i have in a long time.
and that i talked to my mom about my weaknesses.
and the heart break that's never been more real to me.

it's where i read the scriptures.
and prayed my hardest.

it's where i talked to my best friend.
and she was there for me more than ever before.

it's where i worked on homework all day long.
because he's just not worth it not to.

it's where i felt the pain of anger to hurt to emptiness.
and where i felt my entire life change.

it's where i cried in the bathroom.
and realized that everyone is going through something hard.

it's where i was because i just couldn't stand to be alone.
and where i let the tears fall freely.

it's where i'll never think of the same again.
and where i'm going to start my life over again.
where people full of worry for finals.
and people taking surveys and making videos for missions are.

it's where i felt my lowest.
and saw so many blessings in my life.

it's where i listened to taylor swift all day.
while my phone charged and i thought a lot about life.

it's where i still am.
and where i don't want to leave.
because i'm not sure i'm strong enough to face life today.
or any day for that matter.
but it's where i'll leave.
with the best roommates this girl could ask for.
and where i'll make new memories to forget this one.

the library is a lot more than a place full of books.
and quiet spots to me today.
it's where my life is happening.
and where i'm letting all of my feelings out.

love, j.