hey,

go away.
after last year i just wanted to start fresh.
i wanted to learn how to live in the moment.
and i was just starting to get the hang of it.
and then you came along.
and you brought all of that stress back.
and you made me question what i want all over again.
i know this is where i'm supposed to be.
and what i'm supposed to be doing.
i mean when i chose to come here did i think that i
would be going to class from six thirty to nine every
night and ruining my social life? no. but i know it's
what i'm supposed to be doing. and that's the only
reason that it's not so hard to say no and to miss out
on all of those opportunities.
and would i have had the chance to have this calling
anywhere else? i'm not even sure i'm qualified to have
it here. if qualified is even the right word. but i know
that it's right. and having these two years to continue
to figure out my life is exactly what i needed. but to
make me do it all over again. and so soon.
i'm just not sure i want that right now.
so if you could just head the other direction.
and just give me some more time.
or even just give me my answers and put me out of
all of this stress and wondering.
that would be awesome.

and by the way even though everything that i'm
asking for really isn't possible.
thanks anyway.
i guess life always has a way of working itself out in the end.

love, j.
a girl who just isn't quite sure what to do with her future.