blessings.

that's when i asked Him to not give me any.

but to give them all to him. 

all of them.

because as hard as this is for me.

he needs them so much more.

he's doing so much more than me.

being strong.

and doing what he wants.

and what he needs all at the same time.

sometimes i realize i don't even know him.

i only know this tiny little part of him.

but i'm grateful for that little part that i know.

because it taught me how to be selfless.

and to forgive. quickly.

quicker than i ever can.

to grab my hand when i cry.

and to brush my tears away when they come.

he taught me that life is hard.

but that we're made to do hard things.

and although there's no way i could get through life.

even one day or even one hour or one minute

without some sort of blessing from the lord.

i pray that he'll get all that he needs. 

maybe even some of mine.

because that's how much he means to me.

and how important what he's doing is.

love, j.